A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

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Whats he difference between a rock and a dead baby? I'm not spemding the rest of my natural life in an insane asylum for eating a rock!

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http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/355988-gay_marriage.jpg

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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What do you get when you cross a child and jt Rape

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Q: Who visits the dyslexic boy on christmas A: Satan

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How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

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Q. Dr.evil? JHHHHHHHHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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why did the guy make a deer and and bear mix because he wanted some beer

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Mr Dalgleish in a formal setting, Kenny in an informal one.

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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it

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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8===D ~ ~ ~

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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