How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

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- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

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Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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hi

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? Tree sap.

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You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

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What's worse than a joke. ONE TOLD BY FOK.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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Why did the Japanese man fall down the stairs? He was blind and deaf and not aware of his surroundings to prevent himself from doing so.

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What do humans and trees have in common? -If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they fal down

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

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What's worth than a large pile of dead babies? Nothing, you sick freak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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