What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

thumb_up thumb_down -16

guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the man say to his wife? I love you

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's black and white and red all over? A nun that was stabbed to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what is worse than falling off a bridge? .. getting pushed off a bridge

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is an offensive term to refer to black people who lived in the time of the Flintstones? n*ggers

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

i did a 360 noscope, then i jizzed. from dylan

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Did you hear about the man who went up into space without a space suit? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A women frantically calls the doctor and says, " Doctor, doctor, give me the news! I have a bad case of loving you."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I love it when i go into my classroom first thing in the morning, and the light are off... i always feel so Empowered... i walk in, and say Let There Be Light! while i lift my arms up and there was light.... omg! im god! O_O

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Blonde: Hey, what does "Idk" mean? Blonde's friend: "I don't know" Blonde: Thank you for telling me, that has been bothering me for quite some time now.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Patient: Doctor Doctor! Doctor: Yes. Patient: I think I'm a moth! Doctor: You don't need a doctor, you need Mental help. Patient: Yes I know. Doctor: Then why are you here? Patient: The light was on.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit and. the bear eats the rabbit in a whole bite without chewing...end of story...the end

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops