What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

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i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

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When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... and after being married for 39 years... They get divorced

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

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My mom is such a bitch that no one will date her!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TRUE STORY!! :D

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Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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have you ever had african food? neither have they

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what did the white man say to the mexican man when the mexican stepped in poop? you have poop on your toe

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? feel the other side of the worm in his mouth

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What do you call it? Whatever it is.

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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What's the easiest way to become filthy rich? There are many ways to earn money. Invest some time into researching the topic.

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Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why is Brendan stupid. Because he's mentally retarded due to the fact he was dropped as a chil.d

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops