Matthew Baker

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Where's Wally? In a children's book.

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I like doodle. XoXo Jamie

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Whats worse than your house on fire? an orphanage catching on fire. Whats wosre than an orphanage catching on fire? A bunny farm catching on fire.

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Knock Knock Who's there??? Your mom

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I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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Replacement Referees

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

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your mama so old, shes dead.

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how many pancakes does it take to build a dog house? none boats don't have wheels.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why are anti jokes not funny.... Because they make sense.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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