What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

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Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

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What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

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What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

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Your gay

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How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

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What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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A black man walks into a store and buys something.

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What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops