How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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How did the girl get rid of a fever? She took medicine.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

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Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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How many fingers am i holding up? 4

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obama

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

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You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

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what do you say to a black guy on steroids? B!tch please

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Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops