i cant STAND cripple jokes

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here." The other muffin doesn't say anything because it is a muffin.

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What did the man say to his doctor?

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Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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Do you know what's impossible? A chink whos not smart.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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What do you call an Ex-Penn State coach who is anal to young boys? - Strict

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Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

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What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

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A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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what do you call a black who stabbed your entire family? it all depends on what his name happens to be

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What's brown and sticky? Some brown pigment mixed with something sticky like glue.

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Why did the boy jizz?...........he was getting a blowjob!!!

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

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A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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What did the bartender say to the fat guy? Hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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