Person A said: Knock Knock! Person B could not answer the door as he could not hear Person A's announcement of his or her arrival.

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

Knock Knock! Who's there? ....Mrs Murray silently returned to her armchair, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek. Her lonely existence deepened, as she realised the gang of boys had fooled her again.

How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, because he is an orphan.

Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

Hello.

Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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