shut up elliot

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

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Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

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A black man walks into KFC. the whole room..THE GAME.

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What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

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Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. Vincent

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Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

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Why did the black man go to church? Because his father died.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a nest of worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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