A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two polar bears were sitting in a bathtub. One said to the other, "Could you pass the saop?". The other say, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?".

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

thumb_up thumb_down -15

im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

thumb_up thumb_down -15

don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Did you hear about Billy's magic trick? No? Don't worry, it was a trick question.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

thumb_up thumb_down -15

haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the owl visit the hospital? His mom was dying of luekemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the boy cry Because he fell

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? When a child gets raped every night by its father.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How are this and that alike? They aren't.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops