How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Shaving your balls is just plain nuts!

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

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Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

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A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

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How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? Depending on your religious belief and the variation in evolutionary growth, a full study on the answer would require immense time and be very costly. I would also not feel comfortable providing an answer based on opinion or estimated guess. The answer is therefor be inconclusive.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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