What is the difference between a priest and a nun? Cant you see the nun is dead you insensitive bastard!

What has two legs and two arms? A Human

How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo. Boo Who? Boobies.

Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

82

Face Hunter is scum

Why was six afraid of seven? He was wanted for murder.

Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

Why was the fat girl a virgin? Good morals

When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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