What do you call a man in Afghanistan? Either a scuicide bomber a soldier or a tep

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A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

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BOB:i feall like a hotdog JOE:u r what u eat BOB:no wonder your a d!(k JOE:f*** u

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Robin, get in the car!

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What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Why do many men find it difficult to make eye contact? Debilitating autism.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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What's like a whale and has a sprained leg? MATT ROSS THE FAT ARSE!!!!

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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what do dead babies and turkeys have in common? you eat them on ocasions

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed all of six's family

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson. I spelled "red" wrong.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops