Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Injured.

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How Many polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, one person is capable of screwing in a light bulb. Unless they were mentally challenged, in which case, they would get someone else to do it for them.

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What did the alcoholic say to the blind man? Nothing. But he beat his wife and kids savagely.

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On her day off, a fully clothed stripper walks into a bar she's never been to before. The regulars turn their heads to see who has just walked in, then turn back to their own conversations.

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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A genie walks into a bar. The bartender asks for three wishes. The genie says "okay". The bartender says "I wish I was the richest person in the world." The genie says "okay." Then He woke up

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

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Japan is Weird We aren’t saying Japanese people are weird but it’s a fact that the strangest pictures floating around the internet are from Japan.

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Peas

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There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

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How many black guys does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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There's 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving. Probably one of the 2 men.

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In soviet russia, 6 is not afraid of 7

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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I can't wait to eat this bagel! Yes you can. Yeah, I guess you're right.

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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They say Jesus Christ walked on water and that humans are made up of 70% water...... So if I walk on babies, am I 70% Jesus?

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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