Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

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What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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How did the blind dyslexic boy find his way out of the cornfield? -He drew backwords numbers and letters in the dirt

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have altimers cheese on toast Srry bout the spelling. I couldn't REMEMBER!

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I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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A blond went to a barber to get her hair cut. She had her ear phones in and tolled the barber not to take her ear phones out at all. So the barber was swiching her ear phones to cut her hair then she fell asleep so the barber took both of her ear phones off for a minute and then she died

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Can God do anything even if it's impossible? Yes. Can God make a rock so heavy he can't lift it? Yes. Can he lift that rock? Yes. Then he just failed at making a rock so heavy he can't lift it

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Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

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Your mama's so fat, that it's ruined her self-esteem.

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I thought we where okay, you seemed so nice and calm before, are you okay? What happened?

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Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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your mums so fat that shes HUGE!!!!

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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