What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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Women's rights.

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There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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You having friends.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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How else can an Asian wear a contact lens? Too bad for them. They can;t sucks for them. Asians with small eyes EXCEPT FOR INDIANS look ugly

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Two women that are both blonde were driving together down a hill. Suddenly, the brakes fail and one blonde says "Oh no, we're gonna crash. The blonde in the passenger seat says "Don't worry, there's a stop sign." Then the blonde driver says "I'm not dumb okay, that's yield sign.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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