What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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What happens when batman jumps off the top of a building? His fake wings fails and he dies upon impact of the ground.

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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What happens to the yellow hat when it is thrown into the red sea? It get's wet.

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Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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* How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? * He just need to go to the Register Office and change his name to "a man"

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Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

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A Jew walks into an expensive Hotel and orders 500 dollars worth of wine.

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What is green and has wheels? A blue car.

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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What is my favorite color? How the heck should I know?

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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Yo mamma so stupid Her IQ is sub par

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A Terrorist walks into an airport. - He then blows himself up.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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