Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

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What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? i don't know, he hasn't unwrapped it yet

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Q: What did the black man say to the other black man? A: Nothing. They didn't know each other.

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cancer

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

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why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

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Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

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black people

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How do you kill a bunch of flies in one swat? Smack an African kid in the face.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

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Where does Hemech take a shit? The toilet's ass

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How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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