A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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Roses are dead. Violets are dead. I'm a bad gardener.

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Who do you call when you see a ghost on the street? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! no, ghostbusters are not real, you call the police

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yo mama so fat she decided to go on a diet :)

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

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Holocaust jokes are not funny. And I don't see the humor behind them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

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There was a guy and a girl naked in bed, sleeping together. When they woke up they didn't remember the last 72 hours and wanted some questions answered, including Where am I? Who are you? What year is it? What's my name?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because I shot him. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because his tail was stapled to the other monkey.

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

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Q: Why was the black man good at basketball? A: because he practiced

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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