Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

Why did Alice cross the road? Because she wasn't funny. At all. So the people on the other side of the road asked her to do so.

A man was shot. He died.

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

the bible

the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

Smoke weed till i die nigga

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

How many arabs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. We also have a black president.

hello

What do you call a man with a diploma? A high school graduate.

What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

I used to be an adventurer like you, until old age slowly took away my ability to move and go adventuring

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

Again, what is it called when you are safely inside at winter your power is out, but the streets are full of people as the weather gets really bad and people start bouncing around? Blizzard Entertainment. What is it called when a robot lets out gas? Electronic fArts.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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