How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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"Aids" "What?" "Yup, you just got aids­­­."

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what's the difference between a crocodile?

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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Why weren't the two gays invited to the office party? Because there is no office party until december, therefor no one was invited.

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A chicken walked into the bar...

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1st guy:i like anti jokes. 2nd guy:me too, they make me laugh.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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glasses, jacket, shirt They call me glasses, jacket, shirt man. I never leave the house...without my brodies. hehehe hahaha hohoho!

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

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A jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where'd you get that" the man replied "at a pet shop"

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Why do black people like chicken? Because it's tasty, nutritious and easy to cook.

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So i can type anything in this box and it shows up on the website?

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Your mum's so fat, she attends regular weight loss facilities to lose weight.

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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a black guy hates chicken.

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Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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