What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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What? Yes.

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile robin.

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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what did the kid with no head get for his birthday? A coffin.

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Why did the man write with a pen on paper? Because he was writing a novel.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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Once there was a frog. My parents died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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