- Anti Joke

A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

Sometimes black people kill other black people.

PSP its a nut you can play... Outside...

3 guys walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

What did the zombie eat for breakfast? You. You fell a-sleep

Q:why did the lion eat the zebra? A: because it was hungry.

What did the panda say to the other panda? We are fuzzy Oreos

What did the pepper say to Mr. Peno? Hallo peno!

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

Q: you wanna hear a joke? A: yeah sure. Q: well im not gnna.

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Die.

Depends how you look at it, I like some girl, she and that girl gets along, I get along with the two girls, and yeah, I make them fight to the death as I consume the weakest one and make the new one my wife of darkness! Well, actually, threesomes, but NEVAH, NEVAR!! shakes fist towards the skies with another man! Now if my waifu wants to have some fun with a girl, I say why not (and then she asks if I want to join always so far), its genetics, you know, each caveman had like 600 wivus and he did not have time to bang them all, now let those genes go trough MAN for a couple of millenia, and he becomes the KING OF DEMONS... ME! Those other scumbags are a whole other story. Oh, and the 600 wivus did either go without sexytime, or you know... I mean you do KNOW that women are like comfortable naked together and yeah...

How do you catch a predator? You throw a beartrap at a child.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

Q.Why did the black man go to college? A. What does his race have to do with anything?

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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