Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

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What is more boring than watching paint dry? Aids

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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What is white and long? A New York winter

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Knock knock! Why didn't you use the doorbell?

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Why did the woman cross the road? Trick question, she didn't because she was in the kitchen.

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Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

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Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops