Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as the bar was made of metal and the man made forceful contact with the bar which resulted him in saying ouch.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

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What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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6

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Why don't you run over a black guy on a bike? Because It's probably your bike..

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

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Get some flipping new jokes people

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what did the boy in the blue hat do? wear his blue hat

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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hers a joke... japanese people

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

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Why did a blond killed herself? She couldnt find a corner in a round room.

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One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

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There are 2 carrots sitting in a basket. One carrot says to the other; I'm a carrot! The other carrot does not reply, because carrots do not speak. Now consider the possibility, that the first carrot was a talking monkey.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Walnut

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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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The audience was ready, the stage was set, as soon as the show ended, the actors applauded towards the audience shouting ENCORE! The audience paid and went home, then they suddenly went... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SCENARIO!? They cared so much about one another, that they wanted to fall in love with each other. Now that is true love that is not love people! Nerometal (Ironically my name is Nero, I bet the Neronism guys name is Dwayne Maskdork or something, seriously...)

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops