Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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david what a baghead

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

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What is the difference between my right hand and my left hand? I used my right hand to stab your mother.

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What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Reeves Christopher

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A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

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A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

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How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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Ring ring yes.This is doctor steve and we got our test results and it seems that you'r son has butinites and you'r kind sytoms are nothing because he is just an ass.

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I'm a poet and I just didn't realise

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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Q: Why are Dino-Nuggets so good? A: Because they are nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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Why was the girl crying? She just got diagnosed with cancer you inconsiderate bastard.

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A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

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Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

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VaginaBoob ^.^

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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