Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to give him a bad reputation, but not enough to kill him

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Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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what is 1 plus 1 i don't know ask your teacher

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How do u make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face

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What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

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A Priest and a young child walk into a dark alley.... It leads to a church and he talks to the young boy about God

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He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender

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Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A vast quantity of things.

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Person A said: Knock Knock! Person B could not answer the door as he could not hear Person A's announcement of his or her arrival.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops