The Female Orgasm

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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A bear walks in a restaurant and asks for a table for one. Meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is freaking out because there is a bear in there

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How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

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Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

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sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

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What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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4 gay men walk into a bar,but there is only one stool..... What do they do? Turn it over

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops