Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

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What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

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hi

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What do a Jew and a homeless man both have in common? They both get nothing for Christmas

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone. He proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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woman's rights

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

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Why was there a black man and a white man in a bar? Due to the probability of this occurance happening due to percentages of black/white people in a bar, this specific situation should be of no shock, in fact it is a completely normal occurance one of which should not be questioned

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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Q: are you gay? A: maybe

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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a man walks into a bar some other people get up and greet him as they are his friends. he then has a great night with his friends. he goes home and goes to sleep. he wakes up with a man next to him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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