Aaron Pfeifer likes men

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

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Q. What is worse than being raped A. Being raped twice

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Freckles and Spot

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Roses are red violets are blue, I have no pickup line, just Get your tits out

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melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

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your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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Yo mama's so fat, I gave her a compliment because we should embrace body acceptance.

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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What's red and funny? The holocaust

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

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Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

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What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're people to you know...

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I was going to write a joke about Alzheimers ... but I completely forgot it.

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What is the most dangerous place to be right now? Rodney Kings pool.

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Why did Hitler hate Jews? Because he use to get bulied by them when he was in high school.

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a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

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what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

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How did sarah break her arm? She was in a tragic car accident. An ambulance arrived and quickly rushed her to the hospital where she was cared for by medical professionals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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