what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Dakota Fanning

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is worse than a person eating cereal? A black person eating white children.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

So everything, the chat we had before was all you know, a game so I would call you? I am not sleepy but I can wait until you can confirm everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

thumb_up thumb_down +24

so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

thumb_up thumb_down +24

your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops