Pianos.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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What's the difference between your mother and a prostitute? Nothing.

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

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A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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I would tell you a joke but I'm not funny

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A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops