Two polar bears were sitting in a bathtub. One said to the other, "Could you pass the saop?". The other say, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?".

Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

why'd my house get destroyed I was afraid the tornado that hit mass was going to destroy it so I blew it up

Hi

im gay

What's like a whale and has a sprained leg? MATT ROSS THE FAT ARSE!!!!

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

A Black man walks into a gay bar. He has a great time because he is perfectly content with his sexuality.

You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

why was the hobo sad his box was confiscated

sorry son your nanas been put down

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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