- Anti Joke

Q: how do you catch a bear? A: you dig a hole, fill the hole with ashes, surround the hole with peas, and when the bear comes to take a pea kick him in the ash hole

What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

why did Sarah fall out of the swing? she had no arms. Knock knock. who's there? not Sarah.

What do you call an arabic man who sells bombs for a living? A business man.

What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

I was reading a book about antigravity, but I put it down because it was boring.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

What happened when the Trayvon Martin was shot? The media made a huge deal about it and is now making ridicoulus claims that George Zimmerman is racist, and such claims are infringing on his right to a fair trial, and it's all because Trayvon Martin is black.

A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

A father had three children Rose Daisy and Cinderblock. Rose comes up to her father and asks"daddy why am i named Rose?' the father answered"well when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head"Rose Reply's "oh thats nice" and walk's away. the Daisy comes up and ask's "Daddy! why am i named Daisy!" the Dad answered "well. when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head" Daisy Replied" oh ok i guess" and walked away. Then Cinderblock came up and asked "duuuhhhd" and the father simply replied" Shut up Cinderblock".

What is the best anti joke? Dunno cant think of one

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Q: how do you catch a bear? A: you dig a hole, fill the hole with ashes, surround the hole with peas, and when the bear comes to take a pea kick him in the ash hole

What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

Why so serious? Your brother died.

Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.