Q. What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? A. A bench is an inanimate object used for sitting on while a Mexican is a human being.

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Why was the blonde confused? Because she had 10 second memory loss.

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

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Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

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I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

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Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

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Your mother lives so loosely that she has several terminal diseases and only has 3 weeks to live.

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hi anti joke

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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how many jews does it take for me to be able to have sex with my cousin's girlfriend? idk, but that's how many I need. actually let me have some extras. couldn't hurt.

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2 sheeps are outside having a great time One sheep walks up to the other sheep and says: hello The other sheep says: hello Now what I want to know: what ally do you get your drugs from

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A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

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How can you tell if someone is a Mexican? Ask them politely if they're Mexican

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A police officer.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

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Why was Yabba annoyed? Because the idiots who do the audio description voiceover for Timmy Time on BBC iPlayer frequently refer to her as a male even though she is clearly a female duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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