why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

Hey! You wanna' hear a joke? Black Freedom

A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a nice evening.

What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

Why is it when birds fly in a "V" shape one side is longer? There's more birds on that side.

Mitt Romney

Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

I wonder where the hell Hitler is

What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

Person A said: Knock Knock! Person B could not answer the door as he could not hear Person A's announcement of his or her arrival.

Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

My love life

Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...