What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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In Soviet Russia, the political system was very different than it is today.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? Being eaten by a giant octopus. What's worse than being eaten by a giant octopus? 3 Bee Stings!

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

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What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

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What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

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why was the little boy sad? he found out that George Washington was dead.

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Where do babies come from? My sex dungeon

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"Where's your mom?' "She died last night. . ."

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

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What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

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Can yas all stfu SBBBBBBBBBSBSBSBSBSSBBSBSSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBBBBBB

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what did your mom say when she did crack? i am so f***ed up its not even funny, i mean, i literally screwed the racoon in our back yard. i certainly remember a lot of drugs and alcohol. i am pretty sure i raped your friend, billy. I also went all lezbo on your girlfriend. i murdered your brother. he was telling me to stop, so i lit him on fire and made him eat cigarettes. the very abusive mother was then charged with murder, rape, possesion of illegal drugs, assault and several other charges involving that one crazy night. refrigerator.

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ADAM FANTUZZI SUCKS KIRANS BALL SACK

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What did the golfer do when he hit a shot with a lot of pressure on him into the water? He dropped another ball and continued on, for golf is a civilized game and bad manners are prohibited.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Nothing. Both of them are lifeless objects, thus lacking the ability to speak.

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Walking down a cold, lonely, deserted street is a 10 year old who lost her parents. she has with her in plain sight her fathers wallet, so full of cash that it is literally too full. all of a sudden, a black man with a gum jumps out from around the corner. he then proceeds to mug her and shoot her. thanking the man for playing cops with her using finger guns, she goes home with a new coffee mug and a stick of gum. she died three days later from unrelated incidents.

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I like my women like I like my coffee, a brewed beverage prepared from the roasted seeds of an evergreen shrub of the genus Coffea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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