What do I do with all the wheelchairs after I boil all the vegetables?

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

what did the African kid get for his birthday AIDS

What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

River Ravi flows in which state? Liquid state.

Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

There was a asian jew and a black man standing at a bus stop wht do you call the Freinds

When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

What is white And taste like sheep A sheep

What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

Q: What's red, pink and spins round and round? A: A baby in a blender Q2: What's red, pink, green, and smells bad? A2: The same baby 2 weeks later

Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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