A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

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I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

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American: Nice cowboy hat Australian: hahahahahaha American: What's so funny? Australian: You're so incompetent... American: What does incompetent mean? Australian: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/78/Trollface.svg/200px-Trollface.svg.png

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Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

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What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

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Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the world. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are unintelligent creatures of instinct, and can tell no significant differences between the pavement and the road. It was unfortunate that a bus was speeding past at the moment this event happened.

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Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

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What do you call a black man with cancer? Someone with cancer

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What did the white guy say to the two black guys? I like oreos.

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What did the man with sores on his tounge get for a birthday present? He recieved a very nice pair of trousers which he wore to work from time to time

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What did the down syndrome girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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silly rabbit trix are for kids and jews

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Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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