Little goldy locks was walking through a forest and stumbled across a nice cabin. She went inside and ate some newly made porridge and slept on the various beds that were there. The owners of the house came back from a stroll of their own and sued her for breaking and entering.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hitler, a Nazi, and a Jew walk into a bar. Only Hitler and the Nazi walk out. What happened to the Jew? He had to use the bathroom so he asked Hitler and his Nazi friend to wait in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

thumb_up thumb_down +12

timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guys ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

thumb_up thumb_down +12

ANTONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Stop procrastinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue There's always an Asian Better than you

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops