You should read the Terms of Service.

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Jose gutierrez is a gay fish.

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Q. How do you make your dog stop barking? A. Take it to the grocery store. Replace it with any popsicle in the fridge.

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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I once met a man named Steve. I said, "Hello."

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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what's black and has a huge sac? A negro

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She had no arms or legs Knock knock who's there? Not sally

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why couldnt hellen keller drive? she was a woman.

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What's the difference between a Rabbi and a Priest? One's a Jew, one's a Christian

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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Three penguins are at the top of snowy hill. The first penguin slides down the hill, and yells "RADIO!" The second penguin slides down the hill, and yells "RADIO!" Finally, the third penguin slides down and hill and yells "RADIO!"

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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Whats better than sitting here writing anti jokes? Sitting in ENGLISH and writing anti jokes. Shoutout to Link Deas

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

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A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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