How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his farmer was abusive.

What do you call a terrorist on 9/11? A terrorist.

Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

Your momma's so fat, that her doctor recommends that she exercises regularly and sticks to a healthier diet that includes foods with nutritional value.

Q- Why? A- Why not?

Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

Why did the frog cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

What's the difference between an apple and a fruit? None

PICKLES

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

why is cancer a big thing because its bad

An Asian man man couldn't find his family, he is deeply concerned and contacts the missing persons unit.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme oo

I regret everything.....

(in a retarted voice) i want to go to disneyland

Women's rights

Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

What do you get if you cross a human and a cow? Arrested.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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