What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

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A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

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Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

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What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

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MAKE

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if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

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2 gay men walked into a bar, The next day they want back to the bar, They went back on the third day but only 1 man came back out and he was in tears, This was because the other man had a cardiac arrest and died.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Ur mum.

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walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

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If there are 50 bricks on an airplane, and 3 fall off, how many are left? It does not matter how many are left, however, the 3 falling bricks pose a serious safety threat and more should have occurred to properly secure the bricks from falling from the aircraft.

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What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

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roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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In some aspects, a fowl can be compared by many points to the Tyrannosaurus. But it is still comestible.

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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