A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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Women's Rights.

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

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YOOO MOMMA LIKE A BIG MAC FAT JUICE AND ONLY WORTH A BUCK!!!!

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i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

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How do they call a black man that works in a mine. Miner.

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If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

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2 men walk into a bar. 3 come out

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Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

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how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

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What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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Yo mama is so fat, she's bigger than a whale. I have two fathers.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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