Why did the woman cross the road? Trick question, she didn't because she was in the kitchen.

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Why did the weiner dog puncture Doris's bladder? It got carried away during an oral sex session.

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An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

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How are you doing today? I'm fine...Except for the rape.

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What's the difference between a nutcracker and a can of tomato soup? Oh... I don't know, I was asking you.

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why did the boy die he had a raging case of cardiovascular disease

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

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Q:Whats Brown and sticky? A:Maple Syrup

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Women's rights...

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Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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Girls soccer

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What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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Roses are red Violets are blue you smaell funny just like my poo! this came from the BOTTOM of our hearts!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops