Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

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what is long black and smelly the welfare line

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who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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If Life Throws You Melons, Then You're Probably Dyslexic. -S.H.A.T Brother 2Flush

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why did Helen Keller cross the road? she didn't, she wasn't able to find it

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Stick figure says to the artist "Can't you make it any bigger?" Artist:"No, I ran out of lead?"

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Why was the five-year old lying in the middle of the sidewalk? Because he was dead.

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Whats black and yellow and makes you laugh? A bus full of niggers driving of a cliff

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

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A Black man walks into a gay bar. He has a great time because he is perfectly content with his sexuality.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy, she has no arms

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What's short and weak and has no life..........a Jordan pederson!

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What's the difference between a red ball and a blue ball? There both blue but the red one

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

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Why did the black 10 year old miss school? Because his grandmother just had a severe heart attack and the whole family is coming in to visit and pay their last respects.

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I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops