What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

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Knock, Knock Who's there Cluck Cluck who? Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck - proceed to bob head and flap wings - cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck

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Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

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What's more easier to break than a thin stick? A woman's neck.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms or legs.

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What is white and can fly? A fridge that can't fly.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

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Q: What happened to Sally, did she get that cough checked out? A: She died while driving there and got in a 12 car pileup.

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Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

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Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

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lewis ya baggy fuck

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Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

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Rejected Disney titles: - 1,000,000,001 Dalmatians: The Need of Neutering - Beauty and the Bricks - Zambi: the Walking Deer - The Iron King 2: Simba's Ferride - The Little Mormon - Cinderella 4: The Fairy Godfather and his Mafia - Tarzipan of the Choco-Apes - Brother Boar - Home on Deranged - The Emperor's New Sith Apprentice - Mickey and the Mousetrap - Lilo and B**ch

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Nothing. Both of them are lifeless objects, thus lacking the ability to speak.

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What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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