Albert, there is a dead, FLY in your hair.

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If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

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Where's Stevin Hawkins? He went for a walk.

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"Knock knock," "Who's there?" "Black man," "Black man who?" "Gimme yo money!"

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HOLY COW!

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What's green, brown, red, and is covered with crumbs in a ditch on the side of the road? A girl-scout who got hit by a car...

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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Why did the dog start barking? Because it was a dog.

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What's better than being rich? Not living in Kenya.

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Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

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How many dead body can you hide in a hole? 100. Forget the fat guy

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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why didn't the blond laugh at the anti-joke? because, she was aborted in her mom's third trimester

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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What was Hatsune Miku's last word? bokuwaumaresoshitekizukushosenhitonomanegotodatoshittenaomoutaitsuzukutowanoinochivocaloidtatoesoregakisonkyokuwonazoruomochanarabasoremoiitoketsuinegiwokajirisorawomiageshiruwokobosudakedosoremonakushikizukijinkakusurautanitayorifuanteinakibannomotokaerutokowasudenihaikyominaniwasuresararetatokikokororashikimonogakietebousounohatenimieruowarusekaivocaloid...

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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A Fat person walks out of mcDonalds

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A broken boomerang

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A Christian asks god why there is so much pain and grief in the world. God does not exist.

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What's so funny about losing the game? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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