Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Yo mama is so fat, Dora couldn't explore her. Yo mama is so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super bowl. Yo mama so hairy, Bigfoot took her picture and screamed he was gonna be a millionare.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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Q: What happened to Sally, did she get that cough checked out? A: She died while driving there and got in a 12 car pileup.

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What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She died in a car crash.

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I used to be an adventurer like you but then i grew old and i never took i single injury unlike my brother he took an arrow to the knee or so he says i asked him to show me and he was all defensive like "whoa man i don't need to prove anything." so i think he's lieing

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Replacement Referees

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what does lady gaga and a vacuum have in common? nothing. lady gaga is a human and the other is a house hold item.

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knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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What's the difference between gun and penis? A child doesn't start to cry when gun shoots in its mouth.

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meh

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go hang himself.

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Whats big orange and likes to eat rocks? a big orange rock eater

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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