A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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What happened when they asked Steve if he was feeling blue? He confessed and went to prison for a long time for molesting that poor dog.

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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Yo mama is so fat, Dora couldn't explore her. Yo mama is so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super bowl. Yo mama so hairy, Bigfoot took her picture and screamed he was gonna be a millionare.

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What did the Big Chimney say to the Little Chimney? Nothing, chimneys are unable to talk.

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what is the difference between a a person and a book? people can walk

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? Jenga games regularly don't kill around 3000 people.

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Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

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What did the underprivileged girl get for Christmas? Nothing because Santa Claus is a media generated holiday icon and the real St. Nicolas has been deceased for almost 700 years.

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How come the dog didn't want to go into the sun? -Because it didn't want to turn into a hotdog.

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

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why didn't paul ride the horse? he was busy

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As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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What is the best part about being in bed with twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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Q: How do turn water into wine. A: You don't.

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Why was the giant scorpion sad? Because the Holocaust killed his entire family.

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What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

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Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

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What do you call a bunch of mexicans jumping out of a truck a family with not alot of money to afford a car so they are forced to ride a truck that can barely fit them all

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What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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